Friesencold

Does Facebook give as much as it takes?

If yes, then why do I feel so lonely.

I’m thinking of going Southeast on Southwest to see an old friend. See, that’s how money would make everything easier at the moment.

Today I had trouble being patient with Bauer. It seems to be getting harder as he gets more independent. I want to be kind and gentle and warm to this little boy God has gifted to me. Just as I am trying to learn to be kind to myself, I want to be kind to Bauer. He is needy and I am needy and we are together and we can love and give and take and be. And that will be good.

So I was in Target the other day and the guy who was my cashier mentioned, as he scanned my bag of Archer Farms organic white corn tortilla chips, that those bags are the hardest bags of chips to open. I hadn’t noticed, but ever since he said it, it’s been true. I even had to get out the scissors the other day to get a bag open.

But now, they’ve changed the bag, and it has a Pull to Open tab at the top with a Reclosable for Freshness zipper included. Nice, if it works. I am one of those people who double-clothespins chip bags to keep the chips crunchy till the end, and it works like a charm. So I’m not too trusting of a zipper style top since you can’t really tell if any air can get in or out. But I’ll give it a try. And if they go to the bad (a Southern phrase, TJ insists), I could always invoke the 100% Satisfaction Guaranteed that the back of the chip bag boasts, and I bet they’d give me another bag for free.

Going back to the beginning, the same guy was my cashier today at Target and he saw that Bauer was snacking on some apple slices as we waited in line and he made a point to mention out loud that he bought 8 lbs of apples this week and they are almost gone. Interesting stuff he tells his customers. But I don’t mind. I like apples about as much, and I always did like a person to be interesting.

I’m stuck on Timbaland’s Apologize. Music usually doesn’t move me like words do, but this song makes me happy to be here.

Today it seemed every minute was taken. I did get to read And It Was Good for five long minutes just before I picked Bauer up from his friend Nico’s house. Nico’s mommy, a.k.a. my friend Meghan, watched Bauer this morning for a couple hours so I could go to my physical therapy appointment (for the diastasis of my abdominal muscles which occurred with my pregnancy).

I also ran by Hallmark for a few minutes after my PT appt so I got to read a few cards in there. Reading cards is pretty fun, especially when you are by yourself instead of with a kid.

This afternoon, I read a recipe for Chocolate Chip Coffee Cake which I made for our small group tonight. I actually doubled the recipe so I could take the same thing to the women’s group I attend on Thursday mornings. It’s our class’s turn to bring treats for everyone.

I managed to get about 15 minutes of reading Disease-Proof Your Child in while Bauer was playing with his truck at the park. But man, it was cold. And reading when you’re cold is about the only thing that makes the cold bearable.

Looking back, I probably could have just taken something simpler for snacks tonight and tomorrow so I could have been in the kitchen less and had more time for reading and writing and thinking and praying. But you can’t have everything. Wait, yes you can – you can have God and he is everything. And he is enough for me on a day like today when I hardly got to read (worship) at all.

I loved church this morning. The message was so good I almost sacrificed my shoes. The message was about Zaccheus, the wee little man, who had a conversation with Jesus and then became a generous man.

This week was the last in a 3-part series about the 60s (Free Yourself), the 70s (Find Yourself), and the 80s (Suit Yourself). Instead of living to suit ourselves and be materialistic, we were challenged to give up our comfort to meet the needs of others. Our pastor gave an example about how the church had done this in the past a few years ago. The church had found out about a homeless shelter that was in need of shoes, so at church that week, the people were challenged to bring the very shoes on their feet and put them up front on the stage and give away their shoes for the homeless people and then to leave church without shoes. Right away, I was hoping that would be our challenge again.

I was wearing my favorite shoes today, the white Privo shoes I’ve worn nearly everyday all spring and summer. They are definitely worn out but I love them that way. I love that I’ve probably walked a couple hundred miles in them. And I would have hated to get rid of them just yet. But I would have if we had been challenged to do this. In fact, I almost did anyway. I kept thinking maybe that is what God wants me to do, but I wasn’t sure and I didn’t feel there was the right time in the service to do it. And also, I didn’t know what would happen if a lot of people were to follow and do the same thing. Then where would all the shoes go? Does anyone need shoes right now? Or would I have to figure out what to do with all the shoes?

The challenge for today, though, was for every single person hearing the message to sell a possession on ebay during the next 2 weeks. There was an insert in our program explaining how to do it – one side created for the ebay savvy and one for the ebay not-so-savvy (this option allows you to take your stuff to one of those places that sells stuff on ebay for you and all you have to do is drop it off). The money will be designated to our church and will be used in three specific ways: Benevolence Fund, Community 4:12, and Church Plant in Plainfield. I think all three of these are great things to give to and I am happy to be a part of this.

TJ has already been wanting to sell some of our things on ebay so now we have a reason to get it done. He just sold my light blue iPod mini, so that is my first donation. I’d also like to see if there is something else I can sell that would be a sacrifice, like my shoes would have been if I had left church without them today.

I think we need to be called out to a place of sacrifice more often. I think we need to be challenged. I wanted that this morning and I still want it.

The other thing I loved about church today was seeing the 4 people get baptized and hearing their stories of how they found their way back to God. I felt so glad to rejoice in their joy and I think I was sharing in God’s joy too.

Today I feel contemplative. I feel like going slow and eating little. I feel like I need to stretch. I feel like looking through the Sunday coupon fliers. I feel like walking out on the front porch to see how cool it is. I feel like reading books. I feel like talking to a friend. I feel like creating something or organizing something. And I think I will feel sleepy later because Bauer woke us up at 5am this morning.

dear god,
i’m feeling out of sorts. like i am not doing something right to be close to you or experience you. or maybe it’s just that i’m bored and don’t feel like i’m working toward accomplishing anything at the moment.

thank you for maggie. i’m glad i was able to encourage her. thank you for using me. please give her rest and hope.

i pray for gretchen, that you will help her to know what to do about jack’s separation anxiety. just give her wisdom and rest and endurance.

i also pray for lisa, that she will be brought closer to you through the trials she is facing. i ask you to help them sell their house, just as you helped us. please be working for good in their lives and bring them closer to you through their circumstances.

thank you for my friendships and especially for my new friendship with miska, and for books, especially for madeleine l’engle. i also am enjoying soul cravings. thank you for connections. thank you for bauer being so healthy. thank you for dr. fuhrman and for his help in knowing how to eat healthfully.

thank you for hope and a future.

love,
ginger

Words help me worship. And Madeleine L’Engle is my worship leader at the moment. I am reading a non-fiction work of hers called And It Was Good, and ain’t that the truth. I got this book from the library a few days ago. I really was hoping to check out her book Walking on Water, which a friend had recommended. But the library didn’t have it, so I found this one instead.

It is a gem. I can’t stop thinking about how this book was just sitting there for all these years, like a treasure chest of thoughts, waiting for me to find it. The copy I’m reading looks pretty old, and considering it was published in the early ’80’s and still has the paper card holder inside its front cover, I have this feeling that no one has really been checking this book out much lately. I am tempted to call the library to find out the last time it was checked out. I am a curious creature.

I’m also tempted to go into Harris Bank which is located just down the alleyway behind our house to see if they would be too inconvenienced to change the light bulbs that are out (and have been out for months or more) in their clock/thermometer flashing sign. I like to know the temperature each morning and I like to look out the window to do so. I can clearly see the sign from my bedroom window, except that I can clearly see it isn’t the truth. Does anyone else care that the 2 and the 7 look too much the same?