Friesencold

I’ve been reading Gretchen Rubin’s book The Happiness Project, and although you’d think it would be making me happier, I think it’s kind of making me unhappier because I’m realizing more and more how many things I want to work on and improve in my life. That was already one of the things I spend a lot of mental energy on, trying to work on myself, how to be a better mom, a better wife, a better person in general. Like I’ve said a million times before, other than God, it’s quotes and words that are helping me as I build and re-build my life. So regardless of the happiness-unhappiness spectrum I find myself moving back and forth on as I read Rubin’s book, I’m really glad to be reading it.

The author spends a year working on what she calls her Happiness Project. Each month she tackles a different area of her life that she thinks she could improve in. I’ve just finished reading April on the topic of parenthood. One idea she puts forth is that of fog happiness, which is “the kind of happiness you get from activities that, closely examined, don’t really seem to bring much happiness at all – yet somehow they do.” She talks about how having children falls into the category of fog happiness: “It surrounds me, I see it everywhere, despite the fact that when I zoom in on any particular moment, it can be hard to identify.”

I second that notion, for sure.

I also really liked these lines of hers:

“I had two healthy, affectionate little girls [for me, it's boys, of course], and I wanted my actions as a parent to rise to the level of that good fortune. I wanted to stop my quick bursts of temper – I indulged in that behavior all too often, and then, because it made me feel bad, I behaved even worse. I wanted to be more lighthearted. I wanted to take steps to preserve the happy memories from this time.”

I second all that too.

I want so much from life and it all gets so complicated sometimes with all these desires I have, but then it becomes so simple again when I remember words like these from Richard Rohr’s book Everything Belongs:

“There’s no answer, no problem-solving, simply awareness.” Rohr also thrilled me with his words, “Our private darkness is no great surprise. Who cares? Who cares where I am on the ladder of perfection? That’s an egocentric question. ‘Where am I?’ ‘How holy am I?’ become silly questions. If God can receive me, who am I not to receive myself?”

Anne Lamott put it this way in her book Imperfect Birds, which I’m now in the middle of going back through and writing out all my favorite parts, 104 of them to be exact, in my Goody Book.

I’m about a third of the way through doing that and it’s been hours of fun so far, and lots more to come. I really sincerely love more than almost anything in life that I get to enjoy and savor and re-read and hopefully one day become all the words that mean so much to me.

Here’s the part from Imperfect Birds:

Rosie kept asking Rae, through tears, just to please tell her this one time what the secret was. She had never felt lower, skinnier, uglier, more deservedly alone. “Okay, okay,” said Rae. “Here it is.” She wrapped the scarf around Rosie’s shoulders, then leaned over to whisper in her ear: “You are pre-approved.” A calm sense of relief had filled Rosie’s chest, like stepping out of the cold into a warm car.

For me, reading these words, and having the privilege to re-read them and think about them, and now to share them, is like stepping out of the cold into a warm car.

TJ surprised me with something that definitely made me happy, even after I’d had a horrible day with the kids yesterday. It wasn’t entirely horrible (going to Jamba Juice and the park with Jaime and her kids after church was good), but I was definitely in one of my “mean-Mommy” funks a lot of the day yesterday and so it was pretty fitting to get to read the chapter on Parenthood today from The Happiness Project book. The surprise was from Amazon and how crazy that it arrived to our house, via some white delivery van, on Sunday late afternoon! I don’t think Amazon delivers on Sunday, but God does. I didn’t deserve a present for sure, but I did feel very known and loved by TJ when he opened the package and handed me Shauna Niequist’s new book Bittersweet. And it’s light blue!!

Shauna is the writer of one of my favorite books from all of last year, Cold Tangerines. I’ve read a few chapters of the new book already and am happy to have it in my life right now. Thank you, and I love you, TJ.

I had a great time in Tampa this past weekend visiting my friend Shannon, who I was roommates with in college. She and her family moved to Tampa just after we moved away from Orlando three years ago, so we hadn’t gotten to see each other in a really long time (at least 5 years!).

We talked and talked. We sat in her backyard and talked, took a walk and talked, went to the pool and talked, ate at Tijuana Flats and talked, ate slices of Publix cake and talked, stayed up late one night and talked, and went to bed early another night and read. We also spent lots of time just hanging out at Shannon’s house with her two cuties, Chase and Siena. Because Shannon has little kids, like I do, it felt sort of like being at home. It made me miss my kids for sure. But I didn’t have to wash any dishes, brush any kids’ teeth, or break up any fussing. That was nice.

I also had the time while I was away to read an entire book, Anne Lamott’s Imperfect Birds. I wasn’t sure I was going to like it because it’s her fiction work, which I haven’t been crazy about in the past. But this time, I loved the fiction because so much of what you could hear Anne Lamott saying in her non-fiction books like Traveling Mercies and Grace (Eventually) came through in the dialogue among the characters in Imperfect Birds. It was also the first book I’ve read in an online format and I enjoyed that a lot more than I expected to, too. I will definitely read another book on the iPad. I loved being able to bookmark quotes I liked as I went along, although now I have to figure out how to print them….or maybe I’ll just take my sweet time and copy them all down in my Goody Book where I write out all my favorite quotes from writers such as Anne Lamott, Elizabeth Berg, Marisa de los Santos, and of course Alexander McCall Smith.

TJ took great care of the kids while I was gone over the weekend. They went to Bauer’s swim lesson on Friday morning. The lessons take place at Centennial Beach, shown below, which is an old rock quarry.

See Bauer? He’s wearing blue goggles and floating on his back.

Bauer is in a class with only 3 other kids which is great, and usually at least one of the other children doesn’t show up, so it’s even smaller. Unlike Bauer’s bladder! If only he can make it through his 30-minute lesson without having to take a break to go potty, I’d be a happy camper. I made him go pee two times this morning before his lesson and he still only made it till 10:26. I didn’t even give him a smoothie this morning, but uh-oh, it must have been all the cantaloupe he ate! At least he doesn’t go in the water.

TJ took the kids for more water fun on Saturday afternoon at a friend’s house. Their mom, my friend Jaime, was out of town as well, so the dads got together and let the kids play outside in the sprinklers.

On Sunday, TJ helped Bauer make quicksand for the letter Q. There were great step-by-step instructions in the back of Tomie DePaola’s The Quicksand Book. Bauer made a brick sink!

Totally unrelated to the letter Q, they also made a Boogle House in the backyard. This was inspired by the book Why I Built the Boogle House by Helen Palmer.

All weekend, TJ was texting me little videos and pictures of what was going on with the boys. That was a fun and easy way to see them while I was away.

And now I’m going away from the computer.

Here is what Cash got into tonight while I was fixing dinner:

Bauer has learned to swing all by himself and he makes us watch him 5 times a day at least!

On Father’s Day, we went to the zoo with some friends. Bauer had to hold on to Tucker while he looked at the bears.

Not sure what these faces are all about.

These faces, however….

For dinner, we dined at Ted’s Montana Grill per TJ’s request. Cash is really into using a fork these days and loved his bison meatloaf. Unfortunately we didn’t consider the fact that meatloaf would have eggs in it, so we unknowingly subjected Bauer to an allergic reaction. Thankfully his tongue started hurting him right away (after only about 2 bites) so it was a pretty minor reaction. He had some hives around his mouth and was coughing into the evening, but Benadryl relieved all symptoms and now we know not to order the meatloaf for him again.

After taking a week off from alphabet activities during Bauer’s week of VBS, we spent some time over the weekend on the Letter P. I had no idea about Harold and the Purple Crayon, but now I’ve checked out a bunch of the other Crockett Johnson books and we are enjoying those this week, even though we’ve moved beyond P.

Bauer had been asking for a hanging plant for our front porch ever since he discovered the hooks on the porch ceiling and wanted to know what they were for. I bought him a Purple Petunia at Meijer last week.

So many things start with P….Pinecones, Picnic Table….He’s even wearing his Pacific shirt (unplanned).

Pasta on a Preserve Plate….

Pink Play-dough….

And more Play-dough for the P verse.

We also made a Pink and Purple Pinwheel and a Panda Puppet (not Pictured).

We’re enjoying Q this week, including a Q-Tip craft this morning, Queen Anne’s Lace being dyed with food coloring overnight, and Quinoa Muffins we will make in the morning. Also on the agenda is making our very own Quicksand, after reading Tomie de Paola’s The Quicksand Book.

Off to get some ZZZ’s.

We signed Bauer up for the local library summer reading program again this year. I don’t especially enjoy having to keep track of how many “15 minutes” we spend reading to him, but it will be worth the effort when he gets to turn in his paper and earn some prizes….not to mention all the actual reading aloud that happens in the process. This year Bauer is tracking his progress on his library chart with stickers – in fact, stickers are all the rage at our house lately. He’s been decorating a large brown envelope and its contents with stickers and markers for days now and plans to give to a friend for his birthday, which is next January!

I decided to join the summer reading program at the library too. I guess they’ve had it in previous years, but I was unaware. This time around, though, I’m excited to try and earn a prize for myself and have a little extra motivation to spend time reading. I love reading if the story is good, but when I don’t know of a particularly good story to read, I find that I have a hard time making time for reading. On the other hand, when a book gets me, I’m a goner for a few days. I love it, though. I finished Little Bee by Chris Cleave at the end of May, and then didn’t read for about 2 weeks, mainly because I didn’t know how good of a story awaited me. When I finally got down to business with Sarah’s Key by Tatiana de Rosnay, I enjoyed the story immensely. I loved the mix of history and a modern-day story line. I loved the sadness and the trueness, even though it was fiction. My mom is superb at recommending books (she told me about and lent me her copy of both of these), which means now I can be superb at recommending books too. So if you are looking for a couple good stories for your summer reading list, these are my top two recommendations. I also highly recommend two books I read earlier this year: The Kite Runner and A Thousand Splendid Suns, both by Khaled Hosseini.

I love this quote I read today in the Frederick Buechner devotional Listening to Your Life:

“Though we would never have had the courage or the faith or the wit to die for him any more than we have ever managed to live for him very well either, his story will come true in us at last. And in the meantime, this side of Paradise, it is our business….to bear witness to, and live out of, and live toward, and live by, the true word of his holy story as it seeks to stammer itself forth through the holy stories of us all.”

And finally, do you remember my story from last year? How TJ surprised me a month before my 30th birthday and starting posting birthday wishes that he had gathered from my friends on this amazing birthday blog, which he later had printed and turned into a book for me to keep forever? I’ve enjoyed re-reading the book every once in a while this past year, and I love that my story has so many lovely people in it. Today is a month before my birthday again and that is why I’m remembering things about turning 30. I also was thinking earlier today that I like being 30 because I have enough stuff behind me to have learned a lot, and there are still many years ahead of me for living out what I’ve learned. 31 will be the same that way. And it’s odd – yay!

This morning, I finished reading Little Bee by Chris Cleave and it ranks right up there with The Kite Runner and A Thousand Splendid Suns (both by Khaled Hosseini). I loved the story of Little Bee so incredibly much. I loved it from beginning to end. My life stopped so I could read, read, read it. The book ended and I have been a bit out of sorts all day. I am really looking forward to reading Chris Cleave’s earlier book called Incendiary.

One reason I got to read so much over the last few days was that my mom came into town for a quick visit. It was a lot of fun and I always wish she could stay longer. At dinner tonight, which was after we had just taken Gigi back to the airport, Bauer and I talked about all the things we did with Gigi and I asked him what his favorite was.

Here’s what Bauer and I named that he got to do with Gigi while she was here:
-Went to Target
-Walked to downtown Naperville for dinner at Lou Malnati’s
-Went to Barnes and Noble
-Played in the backyard a lot
-Had numerous picnics in the backyard (at least 4 in 3 days)
-Played with cars
-Read books
-Played and jumped on the air mattress

Bauer said his favorite thing was going to Lou Malnati’s with Gigi (and the rest of us) to have pizza.

That picture is on TJ’s phone, but I have some others to share. We have been on the letter L for the past couple of days, which was perfect for Lou Malnati’s pizza on Friday night.

Here are the L books,

and here’s Gigi reading them to Bauer over breakfast one morning.

Another big hit for the letter L was the Lite Brite I recently bought for five bucks at a homeschool curriculum resale. I was unsure of what exactly I would be getting inside the taped-up box, but I figured for such a small price, it was worth the chance. Everything works, and there are plenty of the unused Lite Brite punch-through black pages for Bauer to do. A nice surprise!

Of course, his first pick was the train!

This is a great activity for eye-patching, too.

Before L was I, J, and K.

For I, we looked at igloos on Google Images and then made an igloo on construction paper.

Next Bauer made an igloo out of letter blocks.

Then we went to a nearby park and saw that the tiered climbing wall looked like an igloo.

If You Want to Read Some I Books….

Or you could play I Spy Bingo (fun times).

I had trouble deciding on J books. I had first gotten the Jellyfish one and a couple of books by Jan Brett to be our J books. But then I realized I really wanted to use the Jan Brett ones for N (Noah’s Ark) and T (Trouble with Trolls, which also includes a dog named Tuffi). So we went with these two shown below, and then on the last day of the letter J, Bauer was looking through the books on his bookshelf and pulled out A Big Bed for Jed and said that should have been a J book too. Oh well…

We went all around downtown Naperville looking for places starting with J to take pictures of. Our first stop was Jamba Juice, and Bauer (and Cash) got a smoothie from there for our J snack.

Ezra Jack Keats was featured for the letter K. We had checked out all of Keats’ books one time a while back from the library, so this time, I knew just which ones I wanted to get for Bauer. A Letter to Amy is the one he liked best.

We made a koala mask, which Bauer really enjoyed putting on and showing to Cash first, and then to TJ when he got home from work that day. I found the pattern on EnchantedLearning.com.

And last is our K snack: a kiwi shared by Bauer and Cash, who shared a dislike for the fruit as well (this picture was before Bauer had tasted it).

Oh, I just realized we’ll start M on Monday and Gigi bought Bauer some little packets of M&Ms for him to have on Memorial Day. That’s sweet!

I haven’t been reading that much at all lately and it’s kinda making me crazy.

I have come across a couple great quotes recently, though.

Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it. -Gandhi

The only courage that matters is the kind that gets you from one moment to the next. -Mignon McLaughlin

I’m gonna have a whole bunch more quotes to read soon, and you can too – don’t miss out on (Miss)ion Amy K.R. this week!

I hardly ever quit a book halfway through, but I just quit one. I tried and tried to read Big Stone Gap by Adriana Trigiani, but I finally decided it’s okay for me to quit in order to pick up other books that I know I will like more. I am very happy to be reading Alexander McCall Smith’s newest installment of The No. 1 Ladies’ Detective Agency, called The Double Comfort Safari Club. I hope it’s doubly comforting to me as I try and make my way out of the reading desert.

I did just finish a re-reading of Everything Belongs by Richard Rohr, and loved the chapter called “Ego and Soul.” If I tried to write what I liked from that chapter, I’d end up writing out the whole chapter, so I’ll spare you. But don’t spare yourself – if you need help letting go of control, this is a book to read.

I have a couple more books lined up that my mom happily mailed to me when I asked for book help. Of course, she sent the AMS one, but the other two are Little Bee by Chris Cleave and Sarah’s Key by Tatiana de Rosnay. Which makes me think of Marisa de los Santos and wonder when she’s gonna come out with another awesome book like her last two.

Arts Hour has been replaced by MealBaby Two Hours. I’m not complaining because we don’t want to neglect our other child, but by the time I get in bed at 11:30 at night I’m too tired to read. And now I’m also starting to feel tired of not reading. Something must be done!

Going out into the backyard to sit in the sun and read a book until the kids wake up!

You remember the Miss(ion) Amy K.R. blog that I have written about before? And you remember when I went on the train ride back in March and wrote about my experience? Well, this week Amy has officially posted her video version of that day and I got a couple little seconds of fame toward the end. Just thought I’d share the fun blog post and video.

The quote at the end of the video is just about good enough to make me want another tattoo

I couldn’t think of an H snack, so we’ll call this Having Smoothies!

Cash is super Happy the minute he gets his smoothie in the morning.

H is for Kevin Henkes, one of our favorite children’s authors. Bauer loves A Weekend with Wendell and Chester’s Way. Of course I’m partial to Birds and My Garden.

H is also for Hula Hoop.

I had planned to look online for some hula hoop games, but ended up making up a game instead when one recent afternoon (before I had a chance to look online for ideas) we were out in the backyard and I realized we needed a structured activity to keep things fun for a few more minutes. Bauer enjoyed racing against the timer on my phone as he went from one side of our yard to the other while only stepping inside the hula hoops, which meant he had to keep moving the hoops from behind him to in front of him.

If you haven’t already, please take a look at my friend Rachel’s cool idea! Today’s her Virtual Grand Opening.

And today’s also 4-7 in case you didn’t notice!

Now please take a look at one of my ideas: learning how to sprout!

From left to right, there’s alfalfa, buckwheat groats, sunflower seeds, and red wheat berries.

First I printed a few different articles on sprouting from the internet. I read them over a period of time, highlighted the important parts, made a list of what to get on my freakin’ awesome iPhone (as TJ would say), and then gathered all the supplies. That whole process took me at least a month!

Finally, yesterday, Bauer helped me get started. We measured 2T of each type of seed, put them into quart jars, secured nylon tulle over the top with rubberbands, and added 1 cup of water to each jar to let the seeds soak.

Then last night, I drained the water, rinsed the seeds through the tulle, and drained them again. I found a bowl to prop each jar in upside down so any additional water can drain out.

Now I am supposed to rinse the seeds twice daily and wait for the sprouts to grow. The ones I am doing take 1-1.5 days, so it’s pretty quick. I have already begun to see little sprouts growing, so I guess I did something right.

Next thing for you to take a look at are these beautiful flowers TJ and Bauer got me for Easter. The big ones are Alstroemeria, which are the kind of flowers TJ and I had at our wedding, and the little ones are Daffodils. They are both from Trader Joe’s, which has a great selection of flowers and plants, not to mention hummus, nut butters, soups, and frozen fruit.

For Easter, TJ also got me the newest Anne Lamott novel called Imperfect Birds. It will be my first e-book to read since we now have an iPad to read it on. I heart Anne Lamott and birds. TJ hearts the iPad.

Ever since Bauer lost his first tooth a few weeks ago, he now smiles with an underbite, as shown in the above picture. I have tried to get him to smile “normally,” but he says this is normal.

What is not normal is that it took me 150 pages to get into the book I am reading. I was just about to give up on The Memory Keeper’s Daughter by Kim Edwards, which I’m sure I’ve been reading (or not reading) for at least 2 weeks. I just couldn’t get into the story for some reason. I slowly kept at it after my mom told me it was one of my aunt’s all-time favorite books (and I know she’s a reader so I didn’t take that comment lightly). Finally, last night, when I was truly considering putting it away for something else, the tide turned and I read 60 pages before bed. I won’t say just what happened in the book to really get me into the story because that would give it away, but now I am really excited to finish the book.

Last thing for today is a picture of this Pomegranate Muesli that I had for breakfast this morning. Recipe to follow tomorrow!

First, this quote:

“Our private darkness is no great surprise. Who cares? Who cares where I am on the ladder of perfection? That’s an egocentric question. Where am I? How holy am I? become silly questions. If God can receive me, who am I to not receive myself?” (Richard Rohr, Everything Belongs)

That’s pretty helpful, wouldn’t you say?

I am thinking a lot lately about schooling options for Bauer. I am talking with a lot of different people about homeschooling. I am about to spend some time this week with a friend of a friend who “unschools” her children, and later this month, I will visit my friend Gretchen in Texas and see how she homeschools her boys. During our visit to NC last month, I talked with my aunt who has her son (my cousin) Chase in a classical Christian school. Then when we got back home, I attended an Open House at a classical Christian school in our town. One night last week, I met with a nice lady named Sheryl who heads up a local chapter of Classical Conversations, which is a resource based on the Classical Education model that allows homeschoolers and their parents to participate on a weekly basis with other homeschoolers to focus on memory work. I purchased and read a good chunk of The Well-Trained Mind by Susan Wise Bauer and Jessie Wise, which is a book about homeschooling according to the Classical Education model. There is so much to think about and so many places to find information. I am thankful that I have some friends ahead of me in this area of life so that I can learn from them.

My friend Hannah has been a very good resource for me. She often sends me links to blogs or websites she thinks I will find helpful, and I do! Most recently, she shared with me a blogger’s post entitled “Why I’m Probably a Bad Candidate for Homeschooling” – but NOT because Hannah thinks I’m a bad candidate! If anything, she makes me feel like I can do it, even though our personalities are different. In fact, I often wish I had her laid-back personality that I feel would make me a better candidate for homeschooling.

That leads me back to Richard Rohr and Everything Belongs, in which he says:

“The most courageous thing we will ever do is to bear humbly the mystery of our own reality. That is everybody’s greatest cross.”

Since reading that bit earlier this week, I see that my A-(for-Anal)-Type personality is part of the mystery of my own reality and bearing it well is an act of courage. God help me.

Back to that blog post Hannah sent me. What I wanted to say about it is really about the comments to the post. The comments spoke volumes to me about the schooling debate. I printed all 12 pages of the comments, re-read them on paper, highlighted all the ones I liked, and had TJ read them last night during Arts Hour. I just wanted to share a few of the ones that are really making me think. These are just little bits and pieces of mostly longer comments, so hopefully they won’t be too pulled out of context for you to see what may have attracted me to these thoughts from others.

I want to have a homeschooling picnic for moms who watch 30 Rock, drink a little, say a bad word now and then and still love Jesus.

We all need to remember whoever spends the most time with them will have the greatest impact. Maybe that should be us, maybe not. It depends.

I’d say, forget “homeschooling” and just teach what you want, what you can, with what appeals to you at home. Or the library. Or the zoo. Or wherever. Don’t go to conferences or curriculum stores – just find books you like and read them. Just read, talk, and create the home you want for your children. That would be a marvelous education.

I don’t have boys, but if I did, I’d get him as far away from the public school as possible.

Ultimately no matter what, homeschooling or not, in any situation regarding your children you are one of their biggest flaws and you are one of their greatest assets. The question could be posed, how much can you trust the flaws and talents of someone whom you know less than yourself? a.k.a. a public school teacher….No matter what education choice you are going to have “you” factor affecting how you react! Tally all your factors together and make the choice that works best for you, and make sure to take the time to pray and listen to what God’s telling you about this. Then live happily with your decision. Constant fence sitting, and a state of perpetual indecision are, in my opinion, on of the greatest tools the tempter has against believers.

I don’t think public school is as bad as I’m always told it is (mainly from people who never sent their kids) nor is homeschooling as idyllic as it’s portrayed. Heaven’s not here after all.

One thing is for certain, Parenthood – and Mothering especially – will be the THERAPY you are looking for and the blessed result will be the outstanding adults that will someday look at you and say, “Thanks, Mom. I love you.”

One of the readers who commented referred to this article, entitled “The 7-Lesson Schoolteacher,” so I printed that to read and then TJ wanted to read it too. He thought it was a little conspiracy-theory-ish in parts, but some definite food for thought and some definite truth in there.

Hmmm….I think that’s enough for today on this subject. I am excited to be exploring this part of life.